


BadBoy

by monkiimax



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Confusion, Heores, M/M, Previos relationship, Stalking, villain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 12:05:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4959976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkiimax/pseuds/monkiimax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the person you love isn´t meant to be with you. It can be because of multiple reasons: he doesn´t love you back, he is in love with somebody else or worse, he is a criminal or sold you out to the local police. Cisco is in the middle of a battle field again and the past is crawling out of the grave he thought he had closed long ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nicotine

Barry got to the club 20 minutes late (as usual) and had to take almost half a second to steady his breathe. He knew Caitlin and Cisco were inside the place waiting for him and the hero couldn´t help but chuckle at the memory of the last time he had been to Karaoke; Caitlin singing her heart out to “Summer Nights” from Grease, her puking outside in the parking lot and, his favorite part of the night, when he had to take her home and waited for her to fall sleep. Thinking in retrospect, any guy would have taken advantage of the situation; pretty girl, some drinks and an empty room. But _him_? He was the hero; he did the right thing no matter the circumstances.

Barry felt his cell phone vibrate inside his jacket. “ _Where are you? A beer with your name on it is waiting for you!_ ” Barry felt a smile crawl up to his face as he read the name on top of the message, _Cisco…_ Maybe there was another reason he hadn´t thought about doing anything with Caitlin that night.

As he entered the bar the first thing he noticed was how crowded it was. There were people standing next to the bar asking for drinks, waiters ran across the room with all kind of drinks and snacks and almost every table was filled with young adults drinking and talking loudly. He spotted his two friends sitting at a small table in the middle of the bar. He stood next to the door, unable to move.  Caitlin looked as gorgeous as the other night, wearing a short black dress, high heels and her hair in a ponytail, leaving her pale face exposed. Cisco, on the other hand, wasn´t wearing anything too special, but Barry found it hard to stop staring at him. Instead of his usual dorky shirts he was wearing a plain black one and a leather jacket too big for him on top of it, some dark jeans and a pair of military boots. The pair chatted about something funny, judging by the way Caitlin smiled and how Cisco was mimicking something like an explosion or a fall. He was so into every move the boy made that he almost missed his name being shouted across the room.

“Barry! Over here!” screamed Caitlin as she waved at him. Barry returned the gesture immediately and walked over to them.

He bumped into some people on his way towards the table but when he got there he was received with two bright smiles and an already open bottle of beer. Maybe he constantly told Cisco and Caitlin how much he appreciated them and their hard work with the Flash project, but sometimes he felt he owed them more than that. Those two were now his closest friends and even though each one had messed up in the past, during hangouts like this he could almost forget how weird their friendship really was; _almost._

As the time passed, a beer became two, then three and suddenly the beer was replaced with shots of vodka for Caitlin and tequila for Cisco and Barry remembered his lack of ability to get drunk. He drank but only to keep up with his two friends that were staring to get tipsy. The conversation went from Cisco´s newest machine, to the newest TV shows and movies, to some incomplete jokes only Cisco and Caitlin seemed to understand, but Barry didn´t mind; he was having a good time even though he was the sober friend.

At midnight the club announced it was time for karaoke and Caitlin wasted no time to stand up and put her name on the list. Cisco chuckled as he saw her run towards the corner and start reading the menu of songs available.

“Is she really going to sing?” he asked Barry, who was playing with his almost empty beer.

“You wouldn´t believe what Dr. Snow is capable of doing while drunk.”

“Like trying to get the Flash into her bed?”

Barry turned towards Cisco completely shocked by the statement and stared at the boy who had his eyes fixed on the empty stage. _It´s probably the alcohol talking,_ he thought bitterly. Cisco knew about Caitlin getting drunk with him but that was it. It couldn´t be possible he was jealous of her or what could have happened that night; or maybe he was just joking about it like he did with everything else. Barry decided to let go of his beer, aware that it was as useless as overthinking a simple sentence that wasn´t meant to mean anything.

“I think Caitlin is going to be the opening number of the night.” Cisco mumbled as a silly smile appeared on his lips, and took out his phone.

“Are you going to take video of her?!”

“Tell me a single reason why I shouldn´t.”

“It´s rude.”

Cisco rolled his eyes dramatically. “I call it strategy.” For someone almost drunk, Cisco was quick answering back, which surprised the hero.

“You’re mean,” Barry joked, finally guessing that Cisco would eventually use that video to blackmail the doctor.

“I think you meant smart.”

Caitlin, now standing in the middle of the stage, took the microphone and before singing, waved at the two boys who waved back at her.

“ _You think I’m pretty without any makeup on,”_ she started singing loudly and off key, making the scientist burst out in laughter, but it didn´t stop him from recording. “ _You think I’m funny…_ ”

She sang the whole song with such feeling that at the end everyone at the bar clapped for her and some even whistled at her making the girl blush deeply. Cisco put down his phone and finished the shot of tequila in front of him.

“So how was I?” she asked as she reached the table and leaned on it.

“Better than last time,” Barry accepted, making Caitlin chuckle but still earning himself a hit on the arm.

“So now it’s Cisco´s turn!”

The boy almost spit out the beer he had just drunk and stared at Caitlin in shock, making Barry giggle.

“What do you mean it’s MY turn?”

“I signed you up next to me on the sign-up sheet.”

“But why not Barry?!”

“I already heard him sing and he’s good. Now I want to listen to you.”

Barry exchanged looks with Cisco, who still didn´t looked pleased with the idea. He didn´t keep arguing but hadn´t said yes either. He was just sitting in silence as he moved his eyes from Caitlin to the karaoke machine and back to Caitlin. Barry could see the boy wanted to go ahead and sing but for some reason he felt ashamed of doing so.

“You can´t be worse than Caitlin.” he tried to add to make him accept the challenge but Cisco was still doubtful. Caitlin finally sat down and took out her wallet.

“If you go up and sing I promise I will buy you two more shots of tequila.”

Cisco grinned at her. “Make it three and we have a deal.”

Caitlin smiled naughtily. “Deal.”

* * *

 

Cisco stood in the middle of the stage with the microphone fiercely secured between his hands. His eyes wondered around the bar as he tried to catch his breath. The background track of the song started playing and almost everyone in the place exchanged looks of surprise, not even Caitlin and Barry knew the song. Cisco put the microphone up to his lips and moved his eyes to the screen to start reading the lyrics. Caitlin, as revenge, had taken out her phone and was filming Cisco while Barry had his eyes fixed on the nervous wreck the boy was at the moment.

“ _Cross my heart and hope to die._ ” he started reading with shaking voice but sounding good. “ _Burn my lungs and curse my eyes.”_ Barry smiled as the realization hit him; Cisco was a really good singer.

_I've lost control and I don't want it back_ _  
I'm going numb, I've been hijacked_

_It´s a fucking drag_

The crowed clapped at him and he wasn´t even in the middle of the song. Cisco, too zoned out to care, kept singing with his eyes glued to the screen. Barry saw his shaking become a rhythmic dance and his nervous grin transformed into a small smile. He looked like he was really enjoying himself on that stage.

“ _I taste you on my lips and I can't get rid of you._ ” For the first time he looked over the crowd and his eyes focused on the table, where Caitlin waved at him without letting go of her phone while Barry just smiled widely at him. “ _So I say damn your kiss and the awful things you do. Yeah you're worse than nicotine_.”

Barry felt a hand squeeze his knee and turned surprised towards Caitlin, whoo was now staring at him fiercely.

“When are you going to make a move?”

“I´m sorry?”

“I may be drunk but I’m not blind. Unlike Cisco I can read you, Barry Allen, you’re not that hard to figure out.”

 

Barry thought about it for a moment and then turned his eyes again to Cisco. He looked amazing up there, like he was in his element. He had the same smile Barry saw whenever the boy was working on some new technology or was trying to figure out the villains´ nicknames. If he had to be honest, he had been hooked by the boy since the day he accepted to share custody of the Flash suit. Maybe it was stupid and had been a dumb comment at the time but Barry was sure that was the moment his heart jumped over that line that divided friendship with something else.

_Nicotine, yeah._

_You are worse than nicotine._

They tumbled outside the karaoke bar after the tenth round of shots and a duet Cisco and Caitlin made to Barry’s amusement. He would have loved to share that drunk state with his friends but was glad that at the end of the night, there was still one person sober enough to drive them to their houses.

“You can crash at my place!” said Cisco as he sat in the copilot seat and clumsily tried to buckle the seatbelt. Caitlin, who was already lying on the back seat cheered in agreement while Barry decided to help Cisco out with the belt. “It would be like a slumber party!”

“It is pretty late indeed,” Barry mumbled as he checked the time; it was almost 2 AM.

“And Cisco has a two bedroom apartment and a big sofa.” added Caitlin in a slow and raspy voice.

“How do you know that?”

Caitlin rubbed her face with her palms as she groaned. “Can´t answer now. The world is spinning too fast and I don´t want to fall.”

Cisco giggled at the answer and twisted his head towards the girl in the back. “Don´t worry, my house is two blocks away.”

“Are you sure you can take care of her on your own?” Not that Barry didn´t trust Cisco. It was that Barry knew he shouldn’t trust drunk Cisco.

“You can stay too.” Cisco put his hand on Barry´s knee trying to catch some support. “You heard her, there’s enough room.”

Barry´s face went red at the statement but neither Cisco nor Caitlin was able to see it because of the darkness around them. He turned on the car and waited for it to warm up. He could do that. Crash on the sofa after putting his two friends to sleep and laugh at their hangovers the next day. He could do that. He was the hero after all, and what kind of hero he would be if he left his friends in such a state to take care of themselves.

“All right.”

_It's better to burn than to fade away_ _  
It's better to leave than be replaced_

Caitlin fell asleep the moment they exited the parking lot so when they got to Cisco´s apartment Barry had to carry her to the guest room. Cisco luckily opened the door after the third try and after directing Barry where the guest room was he let himself fall over the couch. Barry, as he placed the young doctor on the small bed, couldn´t help but admire the place. It looked almost adult-like: there were no toys, sci-fi movie posters or anything like he had imagined. It was almost refreshing.

 “Barry?” he heard Caitlin call him from the bed. He guessed she was going to ask him again to stay with her until she fell asleep or something like that. “Come.”

He sat next to her and stroked her hair softly. “Do you want me to get you something?”

Caitlin shook her head. “No…” she mumbled slowly drifting away again. “Just… don´t be… you are not a coward Barry Allen.” She put her hand over his and rubbed it softly. “At least… I don´t think you are…” With her eyes half closed she looked up to him and smiled goofily at him. “So don´t make me change my mind.”

Barry nodded slowly, still not sure what to do.

_I'm losing to you baby I'm no match_

_I´m going numb, I´ve been hijacked._

“Cisco?” He couldn´t believe how weak and unsure his voice sounded the moment he noticed Cisco had changed location from the living room to the kitchen. He was sitting at the counter with a bag of chips between his hands. “What are you doing?”

“Eating,” he answered blankly and kept eating. “How’s Caitlin?”

“Sleeping.”

“Hope she doesn´t wake up all zombie tomorrow.”

An uncomfortable silence.

“You can sing.”

Cisco chuckled. “So they say.”

“You never told us.” He took a clean glass from the sink and poured some water in it. “At least you never told me.”

Cisco raised his shoulders. “I don´t sing anymore. I used to like it before…”

Barry sat next to Cisco and offered him the glass of water.

“Before what?”

“Forget it.”

_Just one more hit and then we're through_

Barry stared at Cisco for a long time but the other boy seemed unaware of his stare. He finished the chips and put the bag aside. A second uncomfortable silence.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Barry said without thinking about it too much. Cisco turned towards him slowly. “Sorry, too personal.”

“I don´t do girlfriends.” he answered casually. “I´m more of a _guys_ guy. What about you Mr. Allen? Any progress with Miss West?”

 Barry´s face went red. “Not really. I sort of moved on from that.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

He could do it, the first barrier (Cisco´s sexuality) was now a nonexistent obstacle and he didn´t mention a boyfriend or anything like that. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea like he had thought before. Maybe he had a real chance.

“Who’s the actual lucky girl?”

“It´s more like a dude this time.”

Cisco laughed out loud this time. “Gay?”

“I’m starting to think bi.”

Cisco nodded and took a sip from the water. “Well, that is for sure a surprise.”

He acted by instinct. Maybe it wasn´t the smartest move and Cisco wasn´t as drunk as half an hour before, but he knew that this would be the only chance he would get to be brave enough to try something, even if it was a little too desperate. When their lips met he expected anything, from a punch in the face to Cisco actually responding to him. There were so many possible endings to it that he was surprised when, after a few seconds of kissing him back, Cisco put his hands between them and pushed the hero away.

_  
'Cause you could never love me back_

They stared at each other for a couple of seconds before Barry took Cisco by the hips and pulled him closer. Again the boy answered back and even deepened the kiss by pulling Barry down by the neck but again he broke the kiss, pushing him away, slowly and gently but still pushing him away.

“I´m sorry.”

_Cut every tie I have to you_

 Barry looked down at Cisco´s hands and then towards the glass that was now shattered on the floor.

“I can’t… I don´t…” Cisco stuttered and his eyes went watery for a moment making Barry feel a little bit worse than before. “Why?”

“I… I…” he wanted to say so much but he knew it was useless. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

He jumped off the counter and with his super-speed he cleaned up the mess on the floor.

“Barry.”

He put the broken glass in the trash can and with the mop he cleaned the wet floor.

“Barry!”

The hero was about to take his coat and leave when he heard Cisco truly scream his name.

“BARRY!”

The man turned on his heels and stared at Cisco.

“You don´t have to go.”

_'Cause your love's a fucking drag_

 Barry shook his head. “Forget it.”

Cisco jumped off the counter and held him by the arm.

“Just… Don´t be mad.” He couldn´t look him in the eyes. Barry wasn´t sure if it was because he was ashamed or… “I don´t want it to end like this so that´s why I need to ask… Why?”

_But I need it so bad_

Barry took Cisco´s chin and made him look up. With tenderness he pulled him closer and kissed him again, this time slower and more gently. This time Cisco didn´t respond.

“Because I like you.”

Cisco took a deep breath. “You shouldn´t.”

_Your love's a fucking drag_

“Now I know it.” He turned again and this time he ran, ignoring Cisco’s screams. 

_But I need it so bad_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a fanfiction part of The Flash Big Bang.   
> This text was checked by my amazing beta Janessa that made such an incredible job.  
> Plus, this work has some art with it so you should totally see the amazing gifset KP made for this fanfic so you should totally check his tumblr page:   
> http://fireantlikescorn.tumblr.com


	2. Whiskey Lullaby

_When I was a child_

_They'd ask me where it hurt_

_And wipe the tears from my eyes_

Everything had gone so quickly from right to wrong that he was still in shock. Part of him tried to block the whole event just to make the fear and pain more bearable but the images kept creeping up in his mind in short but powerful flashbacks. Cisco was cleaning up the kitchen as he tried to keep his mind distracted. He didn´t feel the alcohol running in his veins anymore, which made everything harder. At least drunk he would be able to fall asleep and avoid the problem, but sober… Being sober could be hell sometimes.

He threw the trash in a plastic bag. He had pushed Barry away and then kissed him back. _What the hell was that?_ He couldn´t say he didn´t think Barry was attractive. The man was a hero and a good, funny and kind person. Plus, he had taken care of him for months while he was in coma. They had worked as partners for almost half a year! Barry was the safe option and Cisco knew, or at least thought, it had been a big step for him to actually make a move; Barry wasn´t a man of action in that specific aspect.

He finished picking up the little trash he was able to find and walked over to the cupboard where he had a bottle of vodka hidden behind the plates and glasses. He needed something to really numb his brain. He didn´t use a glass this time to drink the verbiage.

“Where’s Barry?” Cisco turned towards the door so quickly he almost dropped the bottle.

“God, Caitlin! I thought you were out cold,” he hissed.

The girl raised her shoulders and sat at the table. She had stolen one of Cisco´s jackets that covered almost her entire dress and had turned her ponytail into a long braid. “I just threw up in your toilet and the bed is spinning too fast.”

“Let me make you something to eat.” He put the bottle down after drinking directly from it and walked towards the fridge. “It will make you feel better.”

“Where’s Barry?” she asked again.

Cisco took the bread and peanut butter out of the fridge to make some sandwiches.

“He went home.”

The girl didn´t add anything and Cisco wasn´t in the mood to explain himself to her. Plus, he was sure Barry wanted to keep everything a secret, at least for now, and he wasn´t going to be the crappy friend to tell his secret. He was already the crappy friend that had lead him on just to push him away at the end. They ate in silence and when they finished they decided to move to the living room to watch a movie, considering neither of them would be able to sleep that night.

It was obvious Caitlin noticed the sadness and confusion written all over his face, and she said nothing about the bottle of vodka that never left his hands or the fact that Barry had left, but it was obvious he had done something. She just stayed silent until the sun rose and then she left the apartment, much to Cisco´s relief.

* * *

 

Cisco never liked Sundays because he rarely found something interesting to do. He preferred being at the lab: making stuff, designing new prototypes or doing anything useful. That Sunday was different, but not in a good way. He spent the whole day drinking the rest of the bottle and cleaning the apartment, when he found some old stuff he was sure he had lost years ago.

 _I should really throw these things away._ Cisco was surprised to find three still closed boxes he had made when he moved from the college dorm to his apartment. He opened the first box and as he checked the old clothing inside of it he couldn´t help but chuckle as he noticed how almost none of it was his. It was weird that he never threw out those things. He had sworn he would the moment he had time but it looked like he never had. He took one of the biggest jackets he was able to find and took a long look at it. It was _His_ jacket[n1] .

 _Maybe it’s still…_ Yes, it was obvious it had to be in the same spot he had buried it years ago. He pulled the small wooden box out of the hidden place inside the closet. It was a little bigger than a shoebox but it was locked. He spent almost the first half of the afternoon trying to find the key.

_But why the sudden need to open it?_

He found the key inside of the second boxalmost three hours later. When he did he returned to his room with the jacket still held between his arms.

“Maybe…” he started as he put on the enormous jacket on. He remembered the day he stole it from _Him_. “One time can´t hurt.” It still smelled like that day.

Luckily (or maybe not) he didn’t have any more alcohol so the numbness was slowly disappearing as he kept sitting on the floor with the key between his hands and the box laying a couple of feet away from him.

_Maybe I can do it._

He could open the box but he could also burn it.

_I need to…_

He could leave it hidden or throw it in the garbage with the rest of his stuff.

_I have to…_

There were so many options but at the end he opted to open the box. He needed Barry out of his head.

_Do I have to?_

The lock opened instantly.

_No!_

Still with the key inside the lock he threw the box inside the closet. He couldn´t do it. Not again.

“Fuck!” he screamed as he hit the door of the closet. He hit it as he kept screaming and cursing. Maybe Barry would hurt him less. Maybe the hero wouldn´t fuck him up like he had done before. Maybe…

He fell on his knees defeated. He finally cried. He broke down in silence and alone but he was used to it.

“Fuck,” he repeated.

* * *

 

He woke up hungover and still wearing the jacket. It was Monday morning, which meant he had to face Caitlin and Barry. He let his head hit the pillow and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes. He could call in sick and spend the whole day drowning himself in his own misery and self-pity. Or he could get up, drink a glass of orange juice, eat something spicy and confront the new day like a true Ramón would do. He hissed as he stood up and headed to the shower… stupid Latino pride.

For a moment he thought there were a slight chance Barry would avoid the lab for a couple of days. Or maybe if he was lucky enough he would be gone for a week. But Cisco was not a lucky man so when he found the hero already eating his abundant breakfast with Caitlin and Dr. Wells in her office he found it hardly surprising.

“Hey.” She was the first one to notice his presence but Dr. Wells was the one that immediately noticed how hungover the boy was.

“It seems you had an interesting weekend,” he said with a huge mocking grin on his face.

Barry looked over at the scientist and then moved his attention to Cisco, who was glaring at the floor.

“I´m fine,” he hissed, unable to look up, too ashamed to look any of his coworkers in the eye

“Anything interesting to share?” the doctor asked again, pretending he didn´t catch the tension and apprehension that came in waves from the younger one. Finally Cisco was able to look up and his eyes met with Barry´s.

“Nothing,” he said trying to sound as neutral as possible. Barry looked away and a long sigh escaped his lips. Cisco frowned at the sight. “Nothing at all.”

_But I grew older and the nights grew shorter_

_I no longer cared where it hurt…_


	3. Somebody that I used to know

_You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness_ _  
Like resignation to the end, always the end_

You can easily feel when something changes. When the person that you care the most about doesn´t seem to trust you anymore and everything just becomes awkward. Cisco wasn´t sure if Barry felt ashamed about what had happened or just plain hated him, but the awkwardness was starting to affect the team, especially Caitlin. Both guys would be able to ignore each other and spend the whole day without speaking a word to each other but whenever they had to be and work together it was always because of the girl. No one said anything about that night for a week. They just tried to move on and keep on with their work. The problem was that things were never easy when it came to Team Flash.

It was Tuesday afternoon when things went downhill. Cisco found it hard to believe but it was possible for things to get worse. There was a highway robbery. The Flash did his job and stopped the bad guys, only one death and the diamond was safe and sound. Just another happy and regular day at S.T.A.R Labs; or at least it was until the same thief tried to strike again, this time succeeding in stealing the diamond and harming Barry in the process.

Cisco still recalled the moment he discovered the cold-gun was stolen. Dr. Wells had been so angry and disappointed he couldn´t stop himself to think about all the possible reasons he had left such a powerful machine without any further security.

“You’re lucky to be alive.”

Cisco couldn´t help but cringe at the sentence. Barry had suffered third degree frostbite and his healing abilities weren´t working as fast as usual. But at the end he was alive unlike the guard that Leonard had attacked.

 _Leonard Snart._ When Felicity said his name as she read his biography he tried his best to hide the surprise on his face. That name was too familiar but at the same time it felt strange coming from her, and Catlin, and Barry…

Cisco sighed as Dr. Wells admitted the weapon had come from the lab. Now he had to face Barry and explain to him why he had built the gun.  He thought for a second to avoid the part that the gun was made to stop him. He was sure Barry didn´t want to know it but…

“I built it to stop you,” he said after a short pause. Barry needed to know. “I didn´t know who you were at the time I built it. What if you were a psycho or…”

“But I’m not! Am I?”

Cisco shivered as he heard Barry snap at him. The hero had the right to do so but still, it felt wrong.

“Why didn´t you tell me?” Cisco looked up slowly. “I mean, after all we’ve been through I thought you trusted me. I thought we were _friends_.”

“We are.”

“But if you had told me I would have been prepared. Instead of that, someone died tonight!”

He knew. He was aware it was his fault, that man´s death. He wasn´t sure how Leonard had gotten the weapon but the damage was done. Leonard was now a strong psycho, a powerful criminal, a dangerous man.

He bit his lip as he looked down. “And now I have to live with that.”

* * *

 

Leonard knew he had the advantage. He was a master in planning and strategies, he never acted unless he knew his victim’s next two or three steps forward. He had learned to live that way since he was eight. Look for your own good: no matter the method, no matter the price.

“Pretty fast, kid,” he said as he walked towards the man dressed in the red suit. He was a clown, a sentimental and weak clown. “But not fast enough.”

He had saved all the people in the train without even thinking he was letting him go with the diamond. He had made sure everyone was safe so when he attacked him the hero was vulnerable, weak. Now lying on the ground, with his waist covered in ice, he looked almost like a child. Leonard had changed everything just in order to compete with the red blur. He had improved his game. The stakes and risks were higher but the final goal… Damn, it was going to be big. The diamond was nothing compared to his new plans. He was ready for greatness but in order to get there he had to finish the hero.

“Drop it.”

 _That voice…_ Leonard knew that voice.

“This is a prototype cold-gun; four time the size, four time the power.”

The villain turned around slowly, part of him praying the person behind him wasn´t the person he thought but when he fixed his eyes on the young man carrying what looked to be a canon he felt a shiver run down his spine. Cisco Ramon hadn´t changed a bit during the last few years.

“I was wondering who you were talking to,” he said blankly as he turned his attention back to the hero, who looked surprised to have his crew defending him… Interesting.

“Hey!” Cisco called him out again. “Unless you want to taste your own medicine, I´d back the hell up.”

Leonard frowned but couldn´t bring himself to look back at Cisco a second time.

“Your hands are shaking. You´ve never killed anyone.”

“There’s a first time for everything, Captain Cold.”

Leonard had to hold back his laughter. Cisco could be serious most of the time; he could even sound threatening if he wanted to, but most of the times he was more words than actions.

“I´ll shoot you.”

Knowing Cisco the way he did it was no use to keep verbally abusing each other. There would be more time for that in the future.

“You win kid.” He pulled the gun up and smirked at the hero, who was still in a state of shock. Poor thing. “I´ll see you around,” he said still looking at the hero but in his mind directing the last phrase to the engineer behind him. Central City had turned out to be more interesting than what he had expected.

* * *

There are moments when you think things can´t get worse, and Cisco seriously thought that of the moment he was pointing at Leonard with the vacuum. He had been sure Len wouldn´t hurt him or the girls, but Barry. He had hurt the man and was ready to end him. Maybe he had been really convincing with the whole _gun thing_ and Barry seemed to have forgiven him, but the fact that now Len knew he worked for the Flash put him in a sticky situation.

Cisco spent the whole ride back to his place thinking about Leonard and the effect he would have in the future. He took the stairs instead of the elevator to avoid meeting with any of his neighbors and when he reached the door of his apartment he had to empty his bag to reach his keys. It was almost 1:00 AM when he opened the door.

“I would have never thought you would end up in such an elite group.”

Cisco literally felt his heart skip a beat as he turned on the lights in the kitchen and living room at the same time.

“What the fuck!?” the boy shouted as he spotted the criminal standing in the middle of the corridor with the cold-gun ready to shoot.

“But then again, you always had something for superhero stuff.”

He was really there, inside his apartment, with a loaded gun and for what? To kill him?  Force him to tell him who the Flash was? Or maybe he was just insane. Cisco wouldn´t find it hard to believe considering he was a wanted man and still had the courage to keep stealing and to enter the house of one of the sidekicks of a metahuman.

“What are you doing here Leonard?”

The man chuckled. “It seems you still remember my name.” Cisco couldn´t help but frown at the comment. “But it was a nice touch, you know? Using _our_ old nickname.”

“What are you doing here?”

He meant to sound harsh. He wanted to be cold, cruel, because Leonard didn´t deserve any better. He was a criminal. He had killed two men in less than 24 hours and had been willing to give up the lives of dozens just to prove a point. Yes, Barry had a weakness and it was people. But Cisco knew Leonard had one too.

“Came to pay you a visit.” the villain took a couple of steps closer. “And congratulate you. This baby…” he continued as he showed off the gun. “It´s a master piece.”

Cisco looked at it and then at Leonard.  “You _are_ aware you can´t keep it?”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t help sociopaths.” He wanted to back away but the wall behind him didn´t let him. “Not anymore.”

“Too bad.” Leonard didn´t move an inch. “We were a good team.”

They stood in silence for too long, Cisco waiting for Leonard to finally shoot him and Leonard... Cisco couldn´t even imagine what Leonard could be waiting for. With his eyes fixed on the floor he only heard when Len walked over to him and felt his breath hitting his left cheek.

 “I have to go now.”

He instantly jumped to the side leaving the doorway free.

“I´ll see you around.”

“I would rather you didn´t.”

He heard Leonard say something between his teeth but the only thing he was able to comprehend was the short, mocking laughter that escaped from his lips. Cisco knew it was useless. Leonard had come to stay.

_Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over_   
_But had me believing it was always something that I'd done_


	4. The enemy is inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole paragraph that is in cursive letters are memories, just to clear up.

There is something everyone seeks in their entire life: love, money, security and the rest of the things are a plus. People grow up with this ideal of love and relationships; always thinking there is a mold were we need to fit perfectly and if we don´t we are told we are wrong. Maybe that is why some people love the risk of making their own rules. Leonard always loved breaking the rules, the thrill of being the bad guy and always running away from convention. Cisco enjoyed twisting the rules to his own will. There was a big chance that was the reason they got along since day one.

* * *

 

 _When Leonard met Cisco (because he met the boy before Cisco was aware of his existence) he felt the urge to get to know him. He wanted to meet the Hispanic boy that was able to make it out of the hood. When Cisco meet Leonard (six months later) he had no idea what he did for living._  
  
_Leonard had approached him in a local pub the summer before Cisco's second year of college. Cisco was playing pool with some friends at the table next to where Len was playing with Mick and his sister. At first he had played cool and ignored the boy (which wasn't hard because Cisco was too into the game he was playing) but after 30 minutes he decided to make his move. In his mind he thought he got his attention in a smooth and discrete way but then he noticed that hitting Cisco with the pool cue wasn't a good idea. The boy, unlike all the men he had meet before, didn't snap at him or even turn around, he just moved away and kept playing._  
  
_"Nice job Casanova." Lisa mocked him but Leonard knew how to use every situation in his advantage and he could make that small mistake into an opportunity. They finished playing but stood long enough until Cisco's group stopped playing._  
  
_"Hey," he said as he approached the table where Cisco was sitting after buying two new beers. "Sorry about before."_  
  
_He saw the boy look him from head to toe and then lick his bottom lip. Leonard smirked, the guy couldn't be more transparent even if he wanted to._  
  
_"No problem," he said after a few seconds. One of his friends chuckled and the one sitting next to Cisco hit him in the ribs. "Oh right. Do you want to sit?"_  
  
_"My pleasure." He sat next to him so close their knees touched. Leonard offered him the first beer. Cisco smiled and blushed deeply._

* * *

 

When the alarm went off Cisco almost fell off the bed. That dream… it had felt like reliving his memory but as an outsider. He sat up and stared at the clock blankly. It was a memory but there was no way he could have the whole picture. Memories were all about the subjective point of view of the person that had lived the moment. 

“I´m seriously going mad.”

After Leonard´s visit he was sure something must have snapped inside his head. Even though he had done nothing to hurt him, even his presence was terrifying.

His hand traveled from his face down to his neck and then to his naked chest that was still jumping trying to catch his heart’s normal pace. He was overthinking everything as usual. If Leonard wanted to do something he would have done it the night before. And about the dream? It was just a dream, nothing more and useless to give it more importance than necessary.

 _Am I alone with the thoughts that I have?_  
I'm afraid that I'm scared of myself  
Am I the only one to doubt who I am?

Dr. Wells gave them the day off.

There are productive ways to spend a day off: go to the movies, have a walk in the park, watch a marathon of your favorite tv show, but staring at a closed closet can´t be one of them. It couldn´t be healthy either. Just sit down on his bed and play with a key between his hands. It wasn’t sane.

The box was still inside. Waiting to be opened, demanding to be looked and Cisco knew there was no escape. Leonard had appeared so there was no reason to keep denying what had happened.

He stood up and took out the wooden box. As he sat on the bed again he decided it was best not to keep thinking about it and just do it. The key entered the lock and again it clicked, just like before. This time he was brave enough to open it.

_Would be easier to fight someone else  
than the war I fight within_

It’s surprising how much crap we keep when we are in a relationship. Old letters, the tickets of the premiers you went to together, useless gifts and even some little articles that were literally trash with a small meaning behind them. The first thing he took out were the old photos. Most of them were photos taken by Mick or Lisa of Leonard and him. There were others that Leonard had taken of him in different places and only one of Leonard alone sitting on a bench not looking at the camera. He held that last one for a little too long, trying to find the differences between this old Leonard and Capitan Cold.

He put those aside and paused to look over the spread papers around, most of them were tickets, bank receipts and little notes. As he put most of them inside the trashcan he noticed something long and shiny.

“No,” he hissed as he took the thin silver chain and held it up in the air. There, hanging at the bottom of it, a silver ring was bouncing back and forth, like jumping in joy of being held again.

.

_It's impossible to hide from yourself  
Where do I begin?_

Someone knocked at the door…

  
_Everytime I dare to dream it wakes me,_  
 _wakes me with a cry_

“Cisco?” Cisco brushed the sweat away from his forehead and tried to breathe normally. “I brought chips and beer.”

Barry was standing outside his door, uninvited and with the worst timing ever.

“Sorry,” he said as he unlocked the front door. “I was in my room doing some cleaning.”

“You?” Barry asked playfully as he entered the apartment. Cisco followed him to the living room. “Sorry, I find it hard to believe.”

“I can´t really blame you.” He accepted. Barry sat on the couch and Cisco found it more comfortable to sit on the chair a couple of meters away from Barry. “And what are you doing here anyways?”

“Well, this is usually my free day from my actual job and because I also have a day off on my second job I don´t have much to do.”

Cisco wanted to ask: Why here? Why me? But he decided to drink some soda and keep his mouth full with anything to keep himself from saying something stupid.

“I also wanted to talk with you. About…” Barry placed his hands in front of him and started playing with them. “About everything. I really think we should talk.”

  
Everytime I dare to love it hates me,  
hates me 'til it dies

Cisco pulled his feet up to the chair and hugged his knees against his chest. Bad, bad, bad timing.

“I don´t think we need to.” He shrugged.

“Why did you kiss me back?”

Cisco blinked, surprised at the abruptness of the statement. “I don´t know. Reflexes?”

Barry rose an eyebrow. “Seriously? You just accepted you acted by instinct?”

“NO!” he snapped but immediately took it back. “Yes, maybe… I don´t know, okay?”

Barry stood up and pulled Cisco up carefully. There was something dominant in the act but at the same time there was some tenderness and fright, like he wasn´t sure of what he was doing. Cisco, on the other hand, crossed his arms and stared at Barry with a serious expression.

“What would you do…” Cisco felt his blood run cold. “…if I kissed you again? Now and sober.”

_Love me, can you even love at all_

Cisco took a step back. “Why are you so interested in me?”

Barry smiled tremulously. “I mean, you can have your pick of guys or girls but still you seem to be stuck with…”

If Cisco had to tell, he would definitely categorize Barry as one of the best kissers he had met. Super-speed plus good technique were a good mix and a better one in someone as good looking as Barry.

“I don´t care what you think is better for me.” The hero pulled Cisco closer as their foreheads met. Cisco was grabbing Barry´s shirt like his life depended on it as he tried to remember how to breathe. “I seriously want you.”

“Barry,” he whispered. Barry moved his head and stole a second kiss, and then a third and finally a fourth. “Stop it.”

_show me, show me what I ought to know_

“Tell me you don´t want me.”

Cisco shook his head. “I…”

“If you do I swear to you I will leave you alone and return to being friends but please, I need to know.”

Cisco remembered what it felt like to be in love. What it felt to not be able to stand a second without that other person and the chills he got whenever he was near. There was something like that with Barry but less. Like the thrill was missing while the charm stood tall. His left hand traveled inside the pocket of the jacket where the ring lay hidden, while his right caressed the hero´s cheek.

“If you want me so badly,” he started with a tight voice, “then understand me and give me time to process everything. I am not saying no,” because who in the world would say no to the Flash, “just not yet.”

“I guess I got a little rushed with this thing.”

Cisco chuckled. “I guess it is already in your nature.”

That night Leonard didn´t arrive and neither did Barry stay the night. He didn´t check the box a second time and neither did he throw away the things he had promised he would. He just sat on the couch, numbing his brain with stupid comedy movies while playing with the ring attached to the chain. 

  
_Mirror, mirror mirror on the wall_  
 _tell me, tell me that I'm beautiful_


	5. Bad guys

_Gather up your loved ones,_  
Gather up your friends  
‘Cause this is when the bad guy  
The bad guy wins.

Leonard put aside the gun and stared at the news. It seemed some stupid kid had vandalized old Dr. Well´s house. He knew about those low life criminals, kids without ambition and stupid enough to get caught at the first opportunity.

“I would have set that shit on fire.” Leonard rolled his eyes as he heard the stupid statement of his partner Mick (talking about idiots). “More poetic.”

“He wants attention, maybe from the police or the Flash. Either way he is going to fall in less than 10 minutes.”

At the moment they were using Mick´s old folk´s house as a hiding place: three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a big basement and a tunnel that ended up in the nearest forest. Len liked it and it was only a 20 minute walk away from Cisco´s apartment. Plus Lisa seemed to enjoy the warmness of a real home; _gross_.

“What do you mean by attention?” she asked as she sat next to Mick, who was having breakfast at the moment. Leonard poured himself a cup of coffee and then put a cube of ice in it.

“He is trying to make a statement. People that do that always end up behind bars or dead.”

“Then why are you so interested in making one for your little ex-boyfriend?” Mick could be so annoying when he wanted to.

“I have my reasons that do not concern either of you.” 

Lisa smirked and Mick just shook his head, like they knew better. Leonard walked out of the kitchen and turned on the television on the living room. Last minute notice: a guy was vandalizing a huge building downtown. Leonard took a sip of his drink and stared at the scene. The guy was making a big mess with the help of some strange device that was able to break glass and the building´s structure without the use of anything apparently.  Leonard turned the volume louder and frowned, trying to figure out the device. Or maybe it wasn´t a device and the kid (because the guy looked pretty young) was one of those weirdos that had appeared after the explosion at STAR Labs.

“Wait a moment, it looks like the Flash just arrived on the scene.”

And the boy was screwed. Leonard couldn´t help but laugh as he saw the boy´s ass being kicked so easily by the hero. Maybe he wasn´t such a bad villain like he had thought before. At least he had taken down the Flash and escaped with the diamond.

“I guess you were right Len.” Lisa called from the kitchen. Leonard smiled. Of course he was, he was always right.

 

* * *

 

When Hartley entered STAR Labs he felt a shiver run down his spine as he and the too-dressed-up hero walked across the hallways and rooms he had passed when he used to work at the place. Things had changed a lot since the last time he was there and the place felt really empty without the dozens of morons walking around like hens without heads. When the elevator opened he was shocked to find Cisco and Caitlin waiting for him in the middle of the room.

“Well, well, well… The gang’s all here.” Hartley said as he stared at the only two sidekicks Dr. Wells was able to keep on his side. “You lasted a lot longer than I would have thought, Cisco.”

Cisco Ramon: good engineer, a kid locked inside of a grown up body but still annoyingly cute when he wanted to be. At that moment he didn´t look interested in looking cute. “And you didn´t last 10 seconds against the Flash.”

Hartley smirked sarcastically at him and then turned his attention to Caitlin: cold hearted girl, a perfectionist doctor and probably the most vulnerable human being inside the room at the moment.

“Caitlin, I´m still waiting for that wedding invite.”

“Shut the hell up!” the Flash snapped as he pushed him forward and Cisco caught him by the arm.

While being dragged around by a guy dressed in a full leather suit was hot, Cisco pushing him forward towards the non-functional accelerator was maybe a little bit more exciting. Cisco didn´t say anything that wasn’t _keep moving_ and _shut up_ whenever he tried to open his mouth.

“Very clever repurposing the anti-proton cavities into cells,” he said as he looked around the not-too-big place.  “Dr. Wells’ idea, I´m sure.”

“It was mine actually,” Cisco replied proudly, like building a rustic prison inside of what used to be a recognized and powerful lab was something to be proud of.

“¿Cisquito. Sigues suplicando la aprovación de tu maestro?”

“Si eres tan inteligente por qué te encuentras en una jaula?”

Hartley knew his Spanish was rusty but he had no problem continuing the fight with Cisco if only Dr. Wells hadn´t arrived to screw up the fun.

“That´s enough Hartley.” The two minions moved aside, letting their master step closer to his cell. Sitting in his wheelchair with those condescending eyes he actually looked like the man he had admired years ago. “Leave us alone and Cisco…” three pair of eyes landed on the Latino at the same time. “I need you to really create a weapon that can actually fight against the weapon Snart stole from us.”

Snart… Hartley found that name oddly familiar. “See you soon Cisco!”

The boy didn´t even bother to turn around.

* * *

 

When it hit him, it was an hour later when there was no one around for him to express his discovery to. Of course he knew the name…

_“What the hell is this!”_

_Cisco looked up and stared at Hartley, who was holding a silver chain._

_“That isn´t yours!” He jumped from the couch and tried to get the little article from Hartley´s hand._

_“Of course it isn´t. And it isn´t yours either.” Cisco stopped and glared at him. “Who the fuck is Leonard Snart?”_

It seemed that sweet Cisco wasn´t so sweet all along. Now that he had connected the dots he remembered the research he had done about the man and, at the same time, about Cisco´s troublesome past. He spent the whole night remembering things, old conversations and old files he had read after being kicked out of the lab by mighty Dr. Wells. He sat in the cell trying to figure out what to do with the information, how much to tell and how to tell it. He had the factor of surprise: Cisco never knew about his research. When Caitlin arrived the next morning with their breakfast (there were at least five other people inside according to the amount of plates she was carrying) he decided it wouldn´t take long to convince her to let him out.

“Good morning Dr. Snow.”

The girl looked at him and frowned as she took his plate and placed it in the little hole at the bottom of the transparent door.

“Eggs with bacon,” she said and then took out two boxes of juice. “Apple or orange?”

“I would rather get out of here and eat like a normal person over a table.”

“That´s not going to happen.” She put aside the orange juice. “Apple will do.”

“I can tell you about Ronnie.”

Caitlin froze. “You are lying.”

 “What would I win lying to you about such a delicate manner?” He stepped closer to the door and noticed that with the heels Caitlin was almost two inches taller than him. “I know you think I’m a hard person to be with but I know you really loved him.” She observed him for a while, judging and not sure if she could trust his words. “Plus I’m getting claustrophobic inside this damn place.”

Caitlin took a deep breath, actually considering the proposal. “You will be cuffed the whole time.” Hartley tried to hide the smile crawling up his mouth. “And if you try something, anything, Hartley, I swear to god that I will make your stay inside that cage a living hell.”

“I promise I will not let you down.” He put his right hand up and then made a cross across his chest with the left one. “Seriously.”

 _Pray to whichever God forgives your sins_  
‘Cause this is when the bad guys,  
The bad guys win

 


	6. Love, love, love: what is it good for?

_Love is always risky. You throw yourself into something you don't know how it could end and the only thing left to do is pray to leave without a heartbreak. When you love someone you understand that those little details that could drive you mad are the things you like the most about him. You get to experiment for the first time that need of having him next to you 24/7; to hear his voice, feel his hand brush your hair behind your ear, to stare at him at every chance you get even though you know you can't_.  
  
During their first date, exactly a week after their first meeting, Cisco talked and Leonard listened. Leonard just asked questions and when Cisco did ask a question Leonard always managed to avoid it and answer with a new question.   
  
On their second date they went to the movies. Leonard paid and Cisco picked the film.   
  
For their third date they went to a club, unaware that both of them hated such places. Too loud and too many people. They managed to escape Lisa and Mick around midnight and spend the rest of the night walking in circles around downtown. At 2 am it started raining and Leonard stole a kiss.   
  
After a month they "formalized" their thing, just a day before Cisco returned to college. Cisco was the one that asked Leonard to be his boyfriend. Leonard accepted without a second thought. That night Cisco stayed the night at Len's apartment. 

A new dream.

Cisco opened his eyes and stared at the clock. It had happened exactly the same way it did last time: Leonard appeared, this time Cisco threatened to call the police but never did so and after 20 minutes Leonard was gone. Barry called about an hour later telling Cisco he wanted to take him for breakfast and he was going to pick him up around 8 am.

Now it was 4 am and he had lost all hope of going back to sleep. He was sure Leonard was able to trigger those dreams but he couldn´t understand why they seemed and felt so real. He sat on the edge of the bed and hugged himself as he felt the cold wind enter through the open window. There was no actual reason to keep dreaming about Leonard. In fact, he had gone to bed with his mind filled with thoughts that ran around Hartley and his recent appearance.

Cisco closed his eyes and sighed loudly.

He should have called the police the moment he had the chance. He should have told Barry about Leonard being able to enter to his apartment. He should have thrown away all the things inside the wooden box. And still he did none of those things and even worse, at the moment the chain with the ring was hanging on the curve of one of his lamps.

Why was Leonard so sure he wasn´t going to set a trap for him? Or why was Cisco so sure Leonard wasn´t going to try to kill him or torture him one of those nights? The odds were infinite and there was no reason for either of them not to kill the other. Leonard was a villain and Cisco… let´s say he was one of the good guys now. But he still dreamt about him. He still had all those items. He still felt he owned the man something.

Cisco looked over at the open window and held his breath. Why did he keep that window open when he knew that it was next to the emergency stairs?

            

* * *

                                                                                                                       

 _During their first Christmas together Cisco helped Mick and Leonard get into a candy store. At first he was afraid of being caught and end up in jail. His family didn't knew about Leonard and him, or that he wasn't spending winter break on campus, so if he ended up in jail... He preferred to avoid such thoughts. But when he heard the plan he instantly felt relief run through his body and Len was able to see it. Leonard had everything planned with such care and he was sure there was no possibility of anything going wrong. Len and Mick would go in, Lisa would be behind the wheel of the old van and all Cisco had to do was hack into the security system of the store. They were in and out in less than four minutes._  
  


“Leonard!” Mick shouted at him trying to recover his attention. Leonard was spacing out, _again._ It was something that happened whenever he went to visit Cisco. He never talked about what went through his mind but for the two sidekicks it was pretty obvious what happened. After all, they knew every detail of the dysfunctional couple.

The man looked briefly at the computer and then at Mick.

“Yeah, okay,” he answered sheepishly. “Whatever.”

They were planning on making a new hit: new and better. They wanted to steal enough gold to make Lisa´s own personal weapon. It was fair, considering that each Mick and Leonard had one.

“If you don´t want to do it…”

Leonard stood up from his chair and walked closer to the screen. They had managed (or a paid hacker had been able) to break into the STAR Labs security and now they could see what happened inside of the building. The three thieves had been able to see the ability of destruction of his weapon and Mick and Lisa were eager to get him to work with (for) them.

“I want to do it. But I want to do this right.”

Leonard selected a certain camera and amplified the image. It was Hartley with the doctor, waiting for the rest to arrive. It was weird, the smaller man was supposed to be inside a cell, not in the lobby with no more security than a skinny and fragile girl. Lisa, noticing the look of concern on her brother´s face, walked closer to him and stared at the screen as well.

“What are you thinking?” she asked almost in a whisper.

“Nothing.”

Lisa sighed and then looked at Mick, who was staring at them.

“So what do we do now?”

Leonard turned the volume of the computer to the highest. “Right now, we listen.”

 

* * *

 

“You did what?!” screamed Barry as he saw Caitlin and Hartley standing in the middle of the lobby. He wasn´t wearing his mask and even if he tried to blur his face, it would be useless. Hartley had already seen his face clearly. Dr. Wells and Cisco appeared shortly but their shock wasn´t lesser. Hartley smiled naughtily at Cisco.

“Caitlin what did you do? He is evil! He is a criminal!”

“No, he’s not. He showed me what happened to Ronnie!” she screamed back, evidently annoyed by the hero´s reaction. “He didn´t die that night. Cisco, do you know what that means?”

Cisco shook his head, trying to get his thoughts straight. So now Caitlin knew that Ronnie was alive, but it was because of Hartley, so that meant… he looked up and saw the evil smirk on the boy´s face. It meant Hartley was free now, him and his big, stupid mouth. “Caitlin, where is the control?” he whispered in her ear.

“There’s no need, Cisco.”

“Exactly, there’s no need, Cisquito.” Hartley showed off his nude wrists. “Afraid of me?”

“You wish.” He turned back to Caitlin again. “Where is the control?!”

“Why do you need it so badly?!”

“ _Porque sabe que puedo arruinarle la vida en menos de un segundo_ (Because he knows I can ruin his life in less than a second),” said Hartley in Spanish.

Caitlin, Barry and Dr. Wells stared at him in surprise, but none of them understood exactly what he had said. Cisco groaned in anger.

“ _¿Y cuál es tu plan?_ (And what´s your plan?)” he questioned as he walked closer to Hartley. “ _No tienes nada que puedas usar en mi contra_ (You have nothing against me).”

The other one moved his head. disappointed. “You were never good at picking fights.” Hartley saw Barry peek over at Cisco for less than a second but it was more than enough. “Tampoco en elegir citas (neither in picking dates).”

“Cisco, what is going on?” asked Dr. Wells, speaking for the non-Spanish speakers.

“ _Yo...Leonard._ ” Caitlin and Barry frowned confused as the name of Captain Cold appeared in the conversation. “ _¿Tus amigos conocen tu fetiche por los chicos malos?_ (Does your friend´s know about your fetish for bad guys?)”

“Cisco…”

“ _No te atreverías_ (You wouldn´t dare).” But he knew Hartley and he knew he would. For what end? He wasn´t sure, but it looked like Leonard and Hartley enjoyed making his life complicated.

“ _Pruebame_ (Try me).”

“Cisco, for the last time, tell us what is going on!” shouted Dr. Wells, tired of the bilingual charade.

 _“¿Qué es lo que quieres?_ (What do you want?)”  Cisco asked, aware he had lost, but Hartley shook his head.

“Just the satisfaction of doing it.” Cisco was aware he was screwed. “Tell me Cisco, what you think your friends will think of you knowing you are an ex-criminal. Or that you paid for college with stolen money from one of your boyfriends? Or that you used to date Leonard Snart and, after he abandoned you, fell for a stupid twat like _moi_?”

 “You dated Hartley?!” the first one to react was Dr. Wells.

“You dated Snart?!” Caitlin was the second one.

“You dated Pied Piper AND Captain Cold?!” It was ironic how Barry was the only one still using the aliases in the current situation.

Cisco wanted so badly to punch him in the face, scream and curse but instead he only felt his eyes go watery by the impotence. He felt ashamed now that his friends were aware of that part of his life but at the same time he felt scared. Terrified that those two people, those two evil men, had such power over him. It reminded him that he was just a simple little man who had apparently screwed up too many times.

“That´s it, you are going down again.” Barry said as he took Hartley by the arm and started guiding him to the elevator. This time Caitlin remained quiet. When they were gone Dr. Wells rode closer to Cisco.

“I think you owe us an explanation.”

Cisco closed his eyes. “I don´t owe you anything.” He looked towards Caitlin and saw the sadness and confusion written all over her face. “I´m sorry… but I can´t… Not now.” And with that he ran as fast as he could out of the building.

 

* * *

 

When the fight was over and Cisco´s dirty secret was out, Leonard paused the video and pressed the reverse button until the frame was where he was able to see perfectly clearly the face of the hero. He clicked on the image and when it was close enough he took a picture of it.

“Lisa, I need you to look up this face until you find his name,” he ordered as he took a couple steps back, still with his eyes glued on the man´s face. “And I need to get all the information we can on this Hartley.”

“Do you think he will be useful?” Mick questioned as he looked over the screen.

“The Hartley kid? Maybe… But the identity of the Flash is crucial.”

“And when we get the name, then what?”

Leonard raised his shoulders. Of course he had plans for the moment when he got the information but it was priority to get the name. “We improve our game.”

_Love, love, love; what is it good for? Absolutely nothing…_


	7. Look in my eyes (Just take a look at who you are)

_I know you're waiting and you're so damn nervous_  
I know you're hoping that I could explain this  
Look in my eyes  
I will try and show you

* _One Month Later*_

Sharing is always hard. Having to spend almost 24/7 with someone else is even harder. But when both things happen to two hotheaded and stubborn villains it is almost impossible to stop a confrontation.

“I have told you millions of times, you dumb oversized ape…” Len was able to hear the heated discussion from his room on the second floor. “You should never, EVER, touch my stuff. Do you understand?”

Len rolled his eyes as he pictured the scene. Hartley and Mick were fighting (again) about something Hartley thought Mick had stolen when the man couldn´t care less about his technology. Mick would probably talk back for a while but Len knew eventually he would use his fists instead of his mouth and Leonard was aware Hartley couldn’t stand a fight with Mick for more than 10 seconds. So as the discussion went on, Leonard stood up from his desk and decided it was time to go downstairs and stop Mick from killing Hartley (even though he himself found the idea of getting rid of the kid thrilling).

Leonard had decided a month ago that the genius could be useful for his team. He had the brains, he was already on the bad guys’ side and he knew Cisco. Hartley had dated Cisco after him so he had thought it would be interesting to see how Cisco had changed during his absence. It had turned out Hartley and Cisco never had a “serious” relationship and the boy was pretty much the same teenage boy he had meet years ago.  So at the end he had kept Hartley just because, like Cisco, he was able to make weapons and, being honest, Leonard knew how  valuable that was in this business.

“Okay girls!” he called out as he entered the living room where Mick was already threatening Hartley. “Is it really that hard to get along?”

“He is a fucking snob,” answered Mick in his own defense.

“He is a thief.”

Len groaned, unamused at the answers.

“Tell me something I don´t know.”

The two men remained silent.

“Mick, why don´t you go fetch Lisa and get dinner for you three?”

Hartley raised an eyebrow confused.

 “Are you leaving?” asked Mick as a goofy smile appeared on his lips. “Damn Leonard, I think you are taking this too seriously.”

“Where are you going?” asked Hartley with serious curiosity.

“None of your business,” Leonard answered but Mick immediately corrected him.

“He is going to visit Cisco Ramon.” NOW he got along with Hartley. _How convenient_.

“Seriously? Are you still interested in that nerd?” Hartley mocked him. “Don´t get me wrong. Ramon has his appeal but I thought you were over it.”

“It´s not what you think. Plus, what I do and stop doing is none of your business.” Leonard hated being questioned, hated being judged but most of all, he hated people making fun of him. “I need to have a word with him.”

“All right. Tell Barry I say hello.”

Leonard froze. _Barry,_ the Flash. Why would Barry be at Cisco´s apartment so late? Since the day of Hartley´s childish outburst and his escape, Caitlin called a girl who was able to close the cameras from  STAR Labs, making it impossible for Len to hack them again. He guessed Cisco and the Flash were pals or even friends, but knowing the genius, not everyone was good enough to enter his apartment, much less to stay there until late. Yes, Cisco was a sociable man, but he didn´t feel comfortable sharing his personal space with anyone.

“Explain yourself.”

“I thought you were over Cisco,” replied Hartley, putting more wood into the fire Leonard felt was growing inside of him.

“You have ten seconds.”

Mick stared at Len, worried by the sudden change.

“Your beloved Cisco and your enemy the Flash are dating. It doesn´t surprise me. I mean, the man is an Adonis…”

“Since when?” hissed Leonard, interrupting him.

“That´s all I know. It is hard to keep track of a relationship that isn´t yours when you are trapped inside a particle accelerator.”

Leonard hated himself for feeling angry about the realization. He should have felt good that now he had something to hurt the hero, but still he felt uneasy about those two being together. Pushing those thoughts aside for the moment he walked away from the living room towards the door. He knew where Barry lived, he knew about his adoptive family and he even had some plans involving the charming Iris West. But instead of that, as he climbed the motorcycle, he decided to turn right instead of left and drive down the avenue that lead him directly to Cisco´s apartment building.

 

* * *

 

 _­_ Cisco was sitting on the couch in front of the TV but not watching anything at all. A month had passed since Hartley escaped the lab. He knew Leonard had something to do with it and so did Dr. Wells, or at least he acted like he did. It was a hard month for everyone in the lab. Caitlin used almost all her time and energy trying to find Ronnie (Hartley had given her a clue about him but not a useful answer). Barry had to divide his time between chasing normal criminals and meta-humans and trying to save whatever he had with Cisco. And Cisco wasn´t making it easy.

The genius hugged his knees up against his chest. He was so tired of everything. He had tried, he really tried falling in love with Barry. He felt attracted to him, he loved spending time with him, but there was that missing spark that completely ruined any attempt at intimacy. Barry had kept quiet about it but Cisco felt awful for leading him on and then giving him nothing at the end. For example that night. Barry had gotten some tickets for a horror-vintage-movie-special-premier at the cinema and he had lied to him, telling him he was feeling sick. What kind of boyfriend was he? What kind of _friend_?

´The kind of friend that still has feeling for a wanted criminal,´ he thought.

He could leave. Leave everything behind: Barry, Len, the lab, his career. He could do that. Dr. Wells didn´t trust him anymore,things with Barry were going downhill and Leonard had made it clear he wanted to stay.

When Cisco heard the door open and then close he didn´t feel surprised or scared even though he was sure the person that had just entered was Leonard.

Talking about the devil…

 _I know you think I am the devil in this_  
I know you're thinking that you don't deserve this  
look in my eyes

It was sort of sick but he was getting used to it. Leonard came, sometimes he threatened him, others, he tried to remind him of the past times and others, he just entered and took some food from the fridge or a book from the bookshelf. It was a twisted way to remind Cisco that he was still a permanent part of his life and that at the moment, he had control. What did surprise him was the sudden outburst the moment he stepped inside the living room.

“I know who the Flash is.”

Cisco frowned at the sentence. Was he serious? He put his feet down to the floor and stared at him for a long time. Len was still wearing his Captain Cold sweater and glasses but he was sweating and breathing hard. Cisco didn´t hear about an attack or a robbery, so why was he still dressed up?

“Sorry?”

Now getting to point two: how the hell did he know?! Or did he only think he knew? He stood up from the couch and Leonard took some steps closer.

“The Flash is Barry Allen.”

No, he knew.

“How?”

Leonard took off his glasses and threw them across the room.

“And you know what other thing I am aware of?” Cisco looked at the spot where the glasses had landed and then towards Len. “That such Barry Allen is pretty much into you.”

Now Len had to be kidding.

“And that is important because?!”

With a forceful push Cisco landed on the couch again.

“I´m not stupid. You know that.” This time Leonard took off his jacket too. Cisco swallowed nervously. “I know that he tried something, didn´t he?”

And then he understood. It was clear as day and it was because Cisco knew Leonard and he knew how possessive he could get. He smiled at the realization.

“You’re jealous,” he mocked him, making Leonard stop. “I can´t believe it!”

Leonard maybe thought he was the only one with brains but Cisco knew Leonard too well, so when he jumped on top of him and held his wrists over his head he didn´t even flinch.

“What makes you think I would ever feel jealous about a guy dressed in a scarlet leather bodysuit? And mostly, I don’t care about you anymore in that way.”

Cisco lifted his head slowly. “Really?” he knew how to press his buttons.  “What if I told you he tried to fuck me?”

He definitely didn´t expect a slap.

“What the fuck?!” he shouted as he kicked Leonard’s left leg (a weak point since he was shot during a small robbery) and pushed him off. Leonard regained his balance but Cisco was already standing up. “Who do you think you are? I am sick of you getting inside my apartment and doing nothing. NOTHING. What do you want Len?”

“I want to be the best criminal in all of Central City and your boyfriend isn´t making it easy.”

“Then go get him! You already know his identity, you could easily go ahead and Google his address. Why are you still coming here?”

Leonard hated not having all the answers.

“Why are you still harassing me? I have nothing for you here. You already hacked into the system and even got Hartley out of the Labs so go ahead and steal everything. You want to steal, murder and torture people? Fine, I am not going to stop you.”

“Why not? You’re not one of the good guys?”

Cisco felt his blood run hot and his body start shaking. “I don´t know anymore! I don´t care anymore!”

Len stared at Cisco in shock. Not even while they dated had they had such a heated argument. That scared both of them.

“Get out!”

“I am not leaving.”

Cisco took a deep breath.

“Then don´t leave.” He passed next to Leonard and turned off the TV. “But I am.”

Len grabbed him just before he reached the door and slammed him against the wall. Cisco glared at him, not scared or even intimidated, just angry.

“What if I was jealous?”

“What are you doing here Leonard? For real.”

_… I will try and show you_

Cisco knew the differences between good and bad. He understood the idea of evil and goodness but in his life he had learned life wasn´t black and white. All because of Leonard. All because of that little spark that had appeared the moment Len hit him with the pool cue at the pub during his first summer break. All because no matter how much he hated Leonard, how much it hurt him to see him as a villain while he was stuck in the character of good sidekick, he did crave those lips, those eyes, those touches.

That was why he didn´t push him away. That was why he responded eagerly to the kiss.

Len pulled him by the waist and Cisco held him by the neck. The zipper of his oversized jersey (Len didn´t noticed how much it looked like his favorite jacket from when he dropped out of college) opened and the piece of clothing fell to the floor.

* * *

 __  
"Three minutes and 42 seconds, to be exact." Leonard poured the wine inside the two cups. Cisco was making a day late Christmas dinner for the two of them. “That was all it took us to gain enough money for my motorcycle and two months of rent.”  
"You seriously have no shame, do you?" he shouted from the kitchen.   
"I'm proud of my work." He placed the dishes on the small table and lit some candles. "And you should be too."   
Cisco appeared from the kitchen with a large plate of lasagna and his hair still in a little ponytail.   
"It wasn't that hard."   
Leonard took the food from his boyfriend's hand as he gave him a quick kiss on the left corner of his lips.   
"Not everyone is able to shut down a whole security system in one minute."   
"Compared to what you did, it was nothing."   
Leonard chuckled.   
"What if we just stick with: we are both awesome?" 

* * *

 

When they broke apart Cisco noticed Len´s gaze over his chest. He had totally forgotten he was wearing the ring.

“You still have it.”

Cisco looked at it and then towards Leonard, who had taken some steps back.

“Why do you still have it?”

“I am not sure.” Cisco felt his body start shaking again. “Why did you kiss me?”

Leonard shook his head. “It doesn´t matter.”

Cisco bit his lip, still lingering over the sensation on them.

“Could you please…?” Cisco wasn´t sure what he wanted to ask. He could order Leonard to leave his apartment, ask him to stay or… His cellphone started sounding from the living room.

“Don´t worry. I was just leaving. I don´t want you to keep Barry waiting for too long.”

Cisco felt the cold air rush against him as Leonard passed next to him and abandoned the apartment after slamming the door shut. His knees gave out and he found it hard to breathe. It felt almost like a panic attack but not getting completely there. His head hit the wall behind him and he heard the cellphone going off.

He hated Leonard.

He hated Captain Cold.

He hated hurting Barry this way.

He hated dating Barry.

He hated his life.

He hated everything.

He sobbed in silence for a long time, with his eyes closed and feeling the ring heavier and heavier as the seconds passed by.

He had kissed Leonard…. Now _what?_

 _Don't blame me for the hardest part_  
I told you when the  
Rain starts falling it all starts crashing  
Down and life will run you right into the ground  
Just take a look at who you are

 


	8. Conquer Love

_And another one bites the dust_ __  
But why can I not conquer love?  
And I might have thought that we were one  
Wanted to fight this war without weapons  
  


Barry hung up the phone and threw it across the room. The tickets for the premier were already in the trashcan and so was his dignity. He didn´t like to admit it but he was growing tired of this charade.

“Maybe…” he thought out loud as he moved to his side and stared at the closed window next to his bed, “…it´s just foolish.”

He hadn´t forgiven Cisco for hiding them the truth about Snart and Hartley. He had agreed to keep things in secret and to take little steps in their relationship. He had ignored the way Cisco always avoided staying with him or him staying at his place. He had thought several times Cisco did love him but didn´t enjoy showing it.

All bullshit.

Suddenly he heard some movement coming from downstairs. Joe was out investigating a kidnapping and Iris had told him she would be staying with Eddie that night. The hero sat up on the bed and focused his attention to capture a new sound. He wasn´t going to reveal his secret identity to a simple robber but he couldn´t let him take whatever he wanted.

He heard a second noise: a glass shattering on the floor. As he walked out the door he took the gun Joe had given him after his first year at the police station and tried to think coldly about what he was going to do. He would scare the person away. If he or she decided the things they were getting were more valuable than their life maybe he would give them a warning shot and if they still decided to stay… He shook his head. There was no way someone would actually ignore a warning shot.

He stopped at the end of the stairs and took a deep breath. He heard some footsteps walking around the kitchen but that was it. He wasn´t even running or moving things around. It almost appeared he was waiting for him. Barry held the gun tighter against his chest praying he wouldn´t need it that night. A new glass shattering made him jump in his spot. The robber was calling him.

“Freeze!” he said as he pulled the gun out and pointed at the person that was standing beside the table. The man turned around slowly and Barry saw in slow motion how a new glass fell from his hand, crashing against the floor. Captain Cold smiled at him.

“Good evening, Flash,” he said mockingly. “Or should I say Barry Allen? What do you prefer?”

Barry opened his eyes in surprise as he felt the gun shake between his hands. Why was Leonard in his house? Why did he know his real name? What was he doing there? Finally he put the gun down. There was no need for it anymore.

“How?”

Leonard raised his shoulders almost in an innocent way. “Let’s say I have some influences.”

Barry glared at him. He was not in the mood for games.

“And what do you want to do with that information. Blackmail me?”

He waited for sarcasm, a blunt response or even an evil laugh. Instead, Leonard just unzipped his jacket, showing the younger man his plain black shirt and a silver ring hanging from a thin chain. Barry looked at the outfit and then to Leonard, still not sure what the villain wanted to get with that demonstration. But Leonard remained quiet and with a huge grin in his face, like he was already silently mocking him.

“It seems you are as blind as you are fast,” he said after a couple of seconds of uncomfortable silence. “And yes I want to blackmail you; and yes I helped Hartley get away from the lab if you were already guessing that part; and yes I dated your beloved Cisco. I wanted to be the one to tell you that but the spoiled brat beat me on that one,” he said, getting one step ahead of the questions Barry was ready to ask. The hero looked down, trying to process all the information. He was getting dizzy and for the first time in a long time, there was no Dr. Wells telling him what to do.

“Why don´t we start with the blackmail?”

Barry watched as the man took a chair and sat down as if he was at home.

“I would like to talk about Hartley, if you don´t mind.”

“I would rather not.”

Barry noticed him start playing with the ring.  

“What do you want?”

“I don´t want to tell your secret identity, if you’re worried about that. I won’t do it but I need motivation to keep my mouth shut.”

“I’m not going to let you steal and murder people, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“I´m sorry but I can´t change what I am.”

“I can let you leave.”

“Don´t want to. I like it here.”

“Why?”

Leonard smiled and finally let go of the ring. “For the same reason you chase criminals like me. I love the adrenaline, the thrill of the chase and that I can only find it here. It is a game and I am very good at it.”

Barry was getting sick and tired of Snart´s attitude.

“If you are so good at it…” Barry leaned over the table trying to intimidate Leonard but instead the man just leaned forward, “…you don´t have to kill. You want to push your luck? Then go for it. But the moment you, or any of your people, kill someone, I will get you.”

Leonard sat down again. Barry saw the ring jump over his chest a couple of times.

“Then I guess your secret is safe… for now.”

As he stood up, apparently leaving the two last statements unanswered, Barry suddenly realized where he knew the ring from. Using his speed he ran towards Leonard and pushed him against the wall.

“How did you get this?!” he shouted as he took the ring and showed it to Leonard in a frantic way. “Did you do anything to Cisco?!”

He was at the edge of punching Leonard in the face as he saw him chuckle.

“Answer me!”

“I paid him a visit, yes, but I didn´t hurt him or do anything he didn’t want me to do.”

Barry felt all his force leave his body as he heard those words. With a strong pull he broke the chain and examined the ring closely. Leonard was now free from his grip but the villain didn´t move. Barry had seen the ring hanging from Cisco´s neck a couple of times and one time, after spending the night at Cisco´s, he saw the genius take it out of a wooden box and put it inside his shirt, unaware that Barry had seen him. He was almost sure it was the same.

“It has his name inside of it,” said Len calmly. Barry took a look at the inside of the ring. There it was carved Francisco R. “Now you can give it back.”

“You stole it.”

Leonard shrugged. “Think whatever you want. I know how and from whom I got it and at the end that is all that matters.”

Barry held the ring for a little longer and then threw it at Leonard. “Get out of my house.”

 

* * *

 

 _And I want it, I want my life so bad_ _  
I'm doing everything I can  
Then another one bites the dust  
It's hard to lose a chosen one_ __  
  


Caitlin was sitting at the small restaurant with a mug of coffee already between her hands. She still had about an hour before she and Cisco would be forced to go back to the lab but Cisco had texted her the night before with such desperation she knew she could wake up two hours before just to help her best friend. She checked her watch and noticed Cisco was already five minutes late. She looked around and found the place completely empty except for the waiter, who was staring at the local news. During the last weeks they had encountered a couple of normal villains and a meta-human but there was no clue or news about Captain Cold or Hartley. Caitlin looked down at her mug and sighed loudly. Hartley, that little rat.

Suddenly the entrance bell rang and Caitlin and the waitress looked up to see a pretty shaken up and shaking Cisco running towards the girl´s table. She wanted to say hi or ask him what was wrong but Cisco gave her no time. He wasn´t even a meter close to the table when he screamed.

“I am fucked!”

The waitress, who was already walking towards them to ask Cisco if he wanted anything, turned around and hid behind the counter.

“Cisco, calm down.”

Cisco was hyperventilating.

“I can´t. I did something horrible… something pretty bad… I can´t do this Caitlin… I can´t… not to Barry…” Still standing in front of Caitlin, with his hands tight in two fists and his eyes fixed on the ground, he was mumbling and the woman was finding it pretty hard to understand what he was saying. “Please… I just want this all to go… to stop…” he put his hands up to his head and pressed it like he was getting a headache.

Caitlin jumped from her seat and put her hands on his shoulders. Slowly, with soft words and making small circles in his shoulders, she got him to sit down and relax. He was still shaking but at least he was quiet now. She ordered him a cup of tea and sat next to him.

“Cisco, you don´t have to tell me everything…” she started while she held his hand, “…but I need to know, are you okay?”

Cisco shook his head. “Nothing is okay, Caitlin.”

“Just give me a clue. What happened? Are you in danger? Did someone hurt you?”

The waitress put the teacup in front of Cisco, trying to avoid eye contact with either of them.

“I want to break up with Barry.” Caitlin nodded, not really surprised. She had seen it coming for weeks. “I want to quit my job.” She frowned and stared at Cisco, more worried by every passing second. “I want to move away from the city… I want all of _this_ to be over.”

“What exactly is _this_?” Cisco remained silent. “What do you want to get over with?” She tried again with the same results. Then she noticed the bruise on his cheek. “Cisco…” for a moment she thought she knew and that terrified her. “…does any of _this_ have something to do with Hartley?” Cisco closed his eyes and let his head fall forward.

“I kissed Leonard, Caitlin.” He whispered. “Yesterday, he came again to tell me he knew about Barry´s identity and…”

She was beyond confused. How did that lead to Snart kissing/hitting him?

“You said again, Cisco,” she pointed out. “Does he go to your apartment often?”

He nodded. “Since he came to town. Since he stole the gun.”

“Why didn´t you say anything?”

He raised his shoulders.

“I seriously can´t remember. At first he threatened me about revealing my past to you guys or hurting you but…” he paused. “I guess part of me liked him being there.”

There are some times when we think we understand and have the answer to everything. Caitlin was one of those people. Being a doctor, she was used to always being right, always knowing what was going on and how to fix anything that came into her way. Since the explosion, things had changed. Caitlin had stopped understanding everything and realized there were things beyond her control, and that had scared her for months. Now that she had learned to live with that, she didn´t understand Cisco´s reasons, but she guessed if it made sense to Cisco she had no right to judge him.

“I loved him so much,” he acknowledged.

“They say you never forget your first love.” Caitlin let go of his hand and took a sip of her coffee.

“It isn´t right. I have Barry…”

“Who you apparently don´t love.”

“But Leonard…he… he…”

Caitlin thought about it for a moment. Cisco had never told her anything about his past lovers so she was in new territory. She didn´t know how things happened and at what time Cisco and Leonard broke up. She knew nothing about Snart as a person, only as a criminal.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked and Cisco started telling everything he had kept hidden for so many years. He talked about how they met, about their dates, their fights, their caring for each other. Caitlin would never ignore the fact that Leonard was a villain but as she listened to Cisco she pictured Leonard as an actual human being, as a man who had actually loved her best friend.

 

* * *

 

 _And I will stay up through the night_ _  
Let's be clear, won't close my eyes  
And I know that I can survive  
I'll walk through fire to save my life_ __  
  


Leonard entered his room and started destroying it. He smashed all the mirrors, hit furniture, threw everything that could be thrown and even made a small hole in the wall as he hit it with his fist. He had stayed out all night, riding his bike around the edges of the town trying to regain his composure. Going to the Flash without a second thought was a mistake and all because of Cisco.

_Cisco, Cisco, Cisco…_

He was surprised that, after all those years, he still had so much control over him. One moment of jealousy was enough to make him clumsy and reckless. One kiss and he was doomed. But he couldn´t lie. He had dreamed about that for so long that when he actually had those lips under his, it felt like paradise.

“FUCK!” he shouted as he took the ring out of his pocket (that stupid Flash had ruined the chain) and put it on the desk. He was losing it. He was losing everything he had worked so hard on for one little kiss.

“What the fuck?!” Mick said as he entered the destroyed room. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Destroying everything. It appears I am good at that.” Leonard kicked his night table, breaking it along with the lamp and the clock on top of it.

“What happened?”

“I fucked up.”

“Yeah, so?”

Mick was leaning on the doorframe, staring at Leonard as he kept kicking and pushing stuff but this time with less rage and force. Like all the previous energy had left his body and the only thing left was the impulse to keep destroying.

Leonard shook his head.

“Why couldn´t you just kill him, like it was meant to happen in the ORIGINAL plan?!” Len sat on the bed and rested his head on his palm. “He locked you inside that place for a year! He sold you out and left you to rot in jail!” Mick walked closer to the man and kicked some parts of the shattered mirror. “I saw the look in your eyes every time you asked me if I knew anything about him. I noticed how cold you grew when you understood he never really cared about you. I was there while you planned everything. So now I don’t understand why suddenly it´s all important again. I thought you wanted him dead, you wanted to win, you wanted…”

“It doesn’t work that way!” Mick stared at Leonard surprised at the outburst. “I will always lose.” He stopped talking for a second, like he was trying to put his thoughts in order. “I can´t love him and I can´t hate him because it is ruining my life. I wanted to feel nothing for him. I needed to not think about him, I needed to not care about him at all.” He stopped. “But I don´t know how to do that.”

Mick sighed. The conversation was going nowhere. When Leonard had an idea or thought inside his head it was impossible for him to forget it or ignore it. Even if he had claimed he would make Ramon pay, if he didn´t felt like doing it, there was no way in hell he was going to keep up with the original plan. But apart from that one, they had other plans, they had other hits and of course there was _the Flash._

“About tomorrow?” Len closed his eyes avoiding Mick´s gaze. “We can forget about it.”

“We need the things. We need the weapons.”

“Then let us do it alone.”

Len shook his head. “You can´t. Plus I don’t trust you and Hartley to pull this off.”

 

* * *

 

Hartley was sitting on the porch of the house drinking a beer (the only alcoholic drink he was able to find in the house) and gulped it as he tried to avoid the disgusting taste of it. From outside he was still able to hear the loud fight between Mick and Leonard and he couldn't help feeling sick to his stomach. Snart was giving too much importance to someone as insignificant as Cisco. When he’d dated the guy he hadn't had any true feelings towards him except lust. Being honest, his first option was (and always would be) Dr. Wells. He sighed. He had fallen for the man the moment he was officially taken under the wing of the genius after he was kicked out of his family. Those bastards. He was going to make them pay but not yet, not before striking the labs. He hated his family but the rage against them wasn't as real and throbbing as the one he felt whenever he thought about Harrison.

“Soon,” he said out loud as he played with the gloves that laid over his lap. “Soon.”

 _And I wanted it, I wanted it bad_ __  
But there were so many red flags  
Now another one bites the dust  
Yeah let's be clear, I'll trust no one


	9. RUN

When Barry got to the Labs he was surprised to find Caitlin pacing around her office with pen and paper in her hands but not actually doing anything. He felt the anxiety coming out of her body as she walked in circles around her office. He couldn’t actually judge her. He had slept a little more than an hour the previous night. After Leonard´s arrival he wasn´t able to go to sleep and instead he ran around town for hours until he passed out in exhaustion around 5:00 am. Part of him wanted to believe Leonard was lying about Cisco but the other one, his “sixth sense” if you wanted to put it that way, was telling him to open his eyes and realize the truth.

“Morning,” he said, making Caitlin jump. “What are you doing?”

The girl stared at him for a long time, inspecting him, and then she answered, trying to sound calm. “Just checking some results.”

Barry nodded. “Any news on Hartley?”

“Not yet. Cisco was working on a device to track his hearing device. According to him it was some sort of magnetism that maybe could help us find him.”

Now that Caitlin mentioned him, Barry realized he hadn´t seen Cisco as he entered the lab.

“Oh, I didn´t see him,” he commented.

Caitlin frowned, confused. “He was at his section.” Barry shook his head.  “Maybe he went upstairs to get some fresh air.”

“What makes you think that?”

She raised her shoulders. “Always goes there when he is under too much pressure or wants to get away from work.”

He didn´t run to get upstairs or even walk faster. He took his time. He had to tell (ask) him about Leonard. He had to know what game they were playing, if what he had said was true, and what Cisco thought about it. He went upstairs one step at a time. He opened the door and took a long look at the roof. Cisco was sitting on the edge of it staring at the city under them. Barry closed the door and walked closer to the man. This was the first time he saw Cisco smoking and it took Barry by surprise. It seemed there were a lot of things he didn´t know about the boy and that hurt him… probably Snart knew that about Cisco or even taught him how to. It was a twisted thought but the hero wasn´t able to help himself. He sat next to him and stared at the view before him. Cisco sighed and put the cigarette back to his mouth.

“This is the first time in years that I’ve smoked,” he admitted and then breathed out the smoke. “I used to smoke a little bit in college but… nothing too serious, I guess.”

Barry nodded, unsure how to answer that or even keep the conversation going. Everything sounded and felt wrong between them now.

“Yesterday…” started Cisco, but Barry interrupted him.

“Leonard paid you a visit,” he blurted out. There was no easy or practical way to talk about that. No matter what he did, Barry had accepted everything was over between him and Cisco. “He knows my identity and told me he was at your apartment last night.”

“Barry…” Cisco threw the cigarette away.

“He told me everything. He was the reason you didn´t want to go to the premier with me.”

Cisco bit his lip and stared at the place where the cigarette butt had landed.

“I wanted to tell you…”

The hero leaned forward and kissed the other man, interrupting his attempt at an apology. It tasted bitter. Both of their mouths moved mechanically but numbly. There was no emotion in the act. Cisco was tired of faking and Barry was sick of pretending he believed Cisco wanted to kiss him. They broke apart and stared at each other. Barry was holding the ring hanging from Cisco´s neck. It read Leonard S. inside of it.

“I’m sorry.”

Barry´s heart broke as he heard the sentence. There was no going back.

“It was a lie. It was always a lie.”

“No!” Cisco shouted but immediately lowered his voice. “I care about you. I love you, seriously but… as a brother, as a friend.”

“But Leonard, a psychotic criminal, you do love him as a lover?”

Cisco frowned. “Don´t act like you understand everything, okay? You don´t know anything.”

“You chose him over me. I understand that.”

“It’s more complicated than that!” he screamed, and then the security alarm went off. Cisco and Barry turned towards the door and in a second Barry was gone. Cisco stood up and ran downstairs, afraid of who would have the balls to actually attack the lab in the daytime.

 

* * *

 

 “Lisa and Hartley, you are going to get the thigs on the list. Mick, try to find any kind of weaponry, I could use a new cold gun. Hartley made sure we have all access to every single corner of this place so I don´t want any of you to lose time.” Leonard was walking in front of the group with his glasses already on and the cold gun ready to shoot. “Remember people, we only have minutes.”

Everyone nodded and the moment the main door opened the four villains ran towards their goals. Leonard was the one in charge of distracting the Flash, who would certainly appear in a few seconds. He entered their main operation room and looked around. One door opened and he saw Cisco´s only female friend enter.

“Good morning,” he greeted her, making her drop her papers and tablet. She stared at him in shock. “I don´t think we have officially met.” He was about to walk closer to her when the Flash appeared between them. They glared at each other for a moment.

“What are you doing here?” asked the hero. “Alone?”

“Wanted to pay you all a visit. See where the magic happens,” he joked, trying to keep the couple distracted. Cisco appeared about a minute and a half later. “Cisco, glad to see you again.”

The man stopped behind Caitlin and stared at Leonard with the same look Caitlin had given him a couple of minutes ago.

“Awwww, look at that, the trio together.”

Cisco looked towards the nearest monitor he was able to see to avoid looking at Len or Barry. As if things weren´t awkward enough already.

“Caitlin,” he whispered almost automatically. Three pair of eyes landed over him.

He had no time to scream, warn or anything. All he had time was to take Caitlin´s hand and pull her towards him as the door behind them exploded. Barry and Leonard were pushed by the force of the explosion and the room was filled with dust and small pieces of concrete. The fire alarms were activated but shut off after a few beeps. Everyone stood silent and immobile waiting for a new hit or for the dust to fall and let them see who the psycho was who had destroyed almost half of the wall.

“So what do you think?”

Cisco cursed between his teeth. _Fucking Hartley._

“What the fuck are you doing?!” shouted Leonard as he stood up and cleaned his glasses. “We had a plan.”

“No. You and your group of freaks had a plan. I had my own plan.”

Cisco was sure either Leonard or Barry was going to kill Hartley, but then Dr. Wells appeared just in time to complicate things even more. Lisa and Mick appeared through the hole just seconds after. Everyone stared or glared at each other, none of them sure who to attack or defend first. Dr. Wells was the first one to talk.

“Hartley, what are you doing here?”

The man smirked and raised his gloves. “Looking for revenge. But first…” He pointed at Barry with the left glove and from it he fired what looked to be thin metallic rods. When the rods hit Barry´s waist, wrists and ankles the hero fell on his back. Cisco felt Caitlin try to run away from his embrace as she saw how Barry found it impossible to stand up again. Hartley just smiled at the view, pleased by it. “Good luck saving the day, Flash.”

Hartley moved the gloves so now both of them were pointing to Wells.

“Now your turn.”

Caitlin ran away from Cisco and placed herself beside Dr. Wells, who had made no effort to escape. Lisa and Mick stood frozen as Leonard activated the gun again. Leonard was now pointing at his head but Hartley didn´t seem to care that in less than a second he could be dead. Instead, he held his attention on threatening Dr. Wells and Caitlin with his two improvised vibe-globes.

“You know how things will end if you do this,” Caitlin said as she tried to keep Hartley from destroying the building. “Don´t do this.”

“Listen to her, kid,” Mick added.

“Why should I?”

Cisco felt his blood boil under his skin.

“Because you are going to get us all killed!” Len barked, rapidly losing his patience. “A new hit and this building is going down.”

Hartley let out a sarcastic laugh. “What if that was the plan all along?”

Cisco looked at Hartley and then at Barry, who was still trying to fight the devices that kept him immobile on the ground.

“What if my plan just went beyond your little vendetta against your ex-lover? Because I have to admit, you are smart Leonard, but you don´t have your priorities straight.” Dr, Wells moved on his wheelchair nervously. “But I do.”

“I will shoot you!” Leonard was screaming now.

Caitlin swallowed as she tried to hold back tears.

“Seriously?”

Barry screamed as he felt the skin of his wrists and ankles rip open. He was out.

“Hartley please, just think about it for a second. You don´t want to do this…” Dr. Wells tried to say but he wasn´t able to finish the sentence.

Hartley activated the gloves before he was able to continue and the strong waved launched the wheelchair against the wall breaking it in little pieces. The building shook from the impact of the wave, and some parts of the walls and ceiling fell and so all the glass exploded around them. Caitlin and Barry were crashed against the nearest wall when the hero attempted to save the girl from being hit like the wheelchair. Mick and Lisa were able to run and hide under two of the nearest tables and Leonard jumped over Cisco and with his body he protected him from the shattered glass and pieces of ceiling. The building kept shaking as Hartley kept hitting the walls with his vibrations. Leonard, still on top of Cisco, looked up and through the fog of dust was able to see a black blur run away from each hit.

“Stop it Hartley!” he heard Caitlin scream and then a red blur knocked the villain out, ending the destruction of the place.

“Len?” The man looked down and stared at the shaking boy underneath him. Cisco had his eyes still closed and his hands were holding him by the jacket like his life depended on it. “Is it over?”

Leonard, using the remaining dust around them as a cover, pulled the boy closer in a short embrace. Cisco didn´t push him away.

“Are you hurt?” He felt Cisco shook his head. “Okay, now you are coming with me.”

 

* * *

 

When they reached the empty parking lot Cisco was out of breath.

“What are we doing here?” he gasped.

Len dropped the cold gun and took a real gun from his coat. He was going to do it. He was going to fulfill the original plan. He took Cisco by the arm and pulled him closer as he pressed the gun against his chest, just below the ring.

“Any last words?”

Cisco rolled his eyes, not feeling afraid or anxious by the fact that a gun was pointing at his heart. He had stopped caring because he had expected that to happen. He had made up his mind the moment Leonard pulled him out of the lab that he wanted to kill him in private or at least away from Barry who would certainly separate his head from his shoulders (at least that was what Cisco wanted to think Barry would do).

“What took you so long?”

Len growled and passed the gun from his chest to his left temple. Cisco shivered at the coldness of the metal.

“I am serious Cisco.”

The guy shook his head. “No, you’re not. You’re just angry…” he knew he was pushing his luck, that with a minimal movement he was dead but… that was the thing with Leonard. He wasn´t scared of dying anymore, so…

“I am not angry! I am in pain! And you put me here, the person who was supposed to love me more than anything!” Len shouted out of nowhere. The gun shook over his temple and Cisco expected the inevitable bang. But it didn´t come. He sighed and closed his eyes. He wanted, he needed to make sense of everything, but he couldn´t. “You abandoned me…” Len said the last part in a low voice, almost like a whisper.

“I didn´t.” Cisco was on the edge of tears as he finally realized what Leonard was referring to. “You did.”

 

* * *

 

_“RUN!” Cisco wasn´t an athletic man but he was way faster than Leonard. Mick and Lisa had taken the car the moment they heard the sirens, leaving Cisco and Len to their luck._

_They had decided it was time to make a bigger hit. Mick had some debts to pay, Lisa was trying to get enough money for her apartment and Leonard wanted to prove to himself and the local police he could actually rob a fucking bank. Leo spent almost a month planning and Cisco had to miss a week of classes to be able to hack into the bank´s security cameras and to break the code of the safe._

_But then something went wrong… None of the alarms went off but the police appeared just two minutes before they were out of the place._

_“Over here,” said Cisco as he turned towards the left but Leonard, catching up with him, grabbed his arm and pulled him inside the entrance of a series of alleys._

_“No, over there. They can´t enter with the cars.”_

_Cisco nodded and followed Leonard. The police left the cars but they were fast. No matter how many turns or obstacles they put between them, they were reaching them. They shot some warnings shots but the two boys kept running. Cisco turned left and saw a metal fence with its door open. He had a big lock and some chains in his bag (Len´s idea of not-so-threatening weapons) so if they passed they would be able to lock it and get away from the police._

_“The chain,” he warned Leonard as they kept running. The man nodded and without stopping pulled Cisco´s bag off his shoulder._

_Cisco was the first one to pass through the door and had some difficulties trying to move it. It was old and hadn´t been taken care of in years. When he finally did Leonard took the door and closed it, locking them apart._

_“What are you doing?” asked Cisco when he realized (a little too late) what Len was doing._

_“Saving your ass,” he said as he closed the lock. Cisco tried to open the door but couldn´t make it move. “I will distract them. You run.”_

_“NO!”_

_“Yes. I have criminal records; you go to college, have a family and a clean record. But you have to leave now.”_

_Cisco hit the door a couple of times but then he saw Leonard passing two fingers through the fence, like he was trying to reach him. Cisco took them and caressed them softly._

_“Leave.”_

_Cisco nodded and ran away, even if his body was too tired of running, even if his brain was telling him he was a bad person for leaving him and even if his heart was telling him to go back and give him one last kiss. He ran, he ran while he cried, while he sobbed, like something was breaking inside his chest._

_I'll sing it one last time for you_ __  
Then we really have to go  
You've been the only thing that's right  
In all I've done.  
  


* * *

 

Leonard pushed him away, making Cisco fall on his back. The gun was again pointing at him.

“You sold me out! You called the cops so you could get rid of me!”

Cisco glared at him. “How can you say that? I never called the cops to get rid of you. You wanted to get rid of me!” Slowly he stood up from the floor, his eyes never leaving Leonard and the gun. “Why did you never accept my calls, my visits? Why did you shut me out?!”

Leonard could see his knuckles go white with the effort of holding the gun. He could see that Cisco wanted to cry and he couldn´t believe he felt the exact same way. He remembered when the police showed him the photos of Cisco and told him he was the one that set off the alarm during the robbery. He felt again the pain and the anger growing inside his chest and expanding through his body. When he was moved to the local prison he had made it clear he wanted no visits or phone calls, not even from Mick or his sister. He remembered the day, a year later, when he escaped prison and went to look for Cisco at his dorm room. He remembered watching the boy from the distance as he talked really closely to another man who was smiling too wide at him. Cisco had forgotten about him. Had replaced him with someone better…

Suddenly he heard the sound of people coming out of the building and running towards them. Leonard half turned to see Caitlin, Dr. Wells, Mick, Lisa and Barry staring at them.

 _To think I might not see those eyes_ __  
It makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbyes  
I nearly do.  
  


 “Go ahead. Shoot, I don´t give a fuck anymore,” Cisco said with a low voice as he stared at the mouth of the loaded gun. “Shoot me.”

Barry was about to move and take the gun off his hands when Cisco stopped him. “Barry, I swear to God if you move…” He threatened him even though it was a vague threat. Barry doubted it for a moment and that moment was enough for Len. With a quick movement he grabbed the cold gun from the floor and shot the hero right on his legs, freezing them against the floor.  

Cisco took several steps closer and when he was close enough he placed the gun, not the cold one, up to his forehead. A couple of silent tears ran down his cheek but they weren´t tears of sadness or fear, they were tears of rage and desperation. “Prove to me you are a true villain. Come on!”

Leonard let go a second time of the cold gun.

Caitlin screamed something. Barry was trying his best to free himself from the ice. Mick was immobile a couple of steps back, his weapon still ready to shoot but facing the floor instead of the heroes and Lisa was just observing next to Dr. Wells.

“We were end-game, remember?” he whispered hoping his words would pass unnoticed for everyone except Leonard. His blue eyes looked away for a fraction of second and returned to Cisco. “Do you remember when you told me that?”

Cisco´s heart was beating like crazy while his breath was becoming erratic. Tears kept falling and he didn´t clear any of them away. The gun was ready to shoot and Leonard´s finger was still in place to pull the trigger.

“What do you want from me, Cisco?”

The younger one, still holding the gun against his forehead, chuckled.

“A bullet inside your brain?!” Leonard snapped, making Cisco shiver. “Are you aware of the situation we’re in? The situation _you’re_ in?”

Cisco closed his eyes and tried to steady his breath. “You want to kill me. You had so many chances to do so and you never finished the job.” Barry hit the ice with his fists several times until they bled. “All you have ever done since you appeared was make my life a living hell. You don´t want me to live, but you don´t want me to die.” Cisco opened his eyes again; there were no tears this time. “The one that should be asking what you want is me! But I am tired of asking myself that. I´m tired of denying that, even though you are one of the bad guys, I feel my heart skip a beat when I see you.”

The villain held his breath.

“And I believed you when you told me we were end-game. So you either kill me now or…” he stopped himself. It was too risky to say those things out loud. It was dangerous and painful.

“You are one of the good guys.”

Cisco shook his head. “I don´t care.”

Everyone heard when Barry broke the ice.

“Run.”

Leonard dropped the second gun and moved aside.

“NO!” screamed Cisco as he put his hands up, just the way Hartley had done minutes ago, and then something got fired from them that was able to push Barry back. “RUN!”

Leonard had no time to think or rationalize what was going on. All he knew was that Cisco was helping him get away and this time he was going to use it. Mick and Lisa ran back to the building as Cisco kept Barry immobile on the floor. Dr. Wells and Catlin watched as the villains ran away (with no treasure or new guns) and escaped from the building, feeling useless and terrified with the scene before them.

When they were gone, Cisco put his hands down and stared at Barry, who was kneeling in the ground in front of him.

_He was so fucked up…_

_Slower, slower_ __  
We don't have time for that  
All I want is to find an easier way  
To get out of our little heads


	10. Epilogue

_CISCO´S POV_

Things can never get back to normal. I can try but I have to admit I don´t want to. I changed and everything around me did too. Being a meta-human wasn´t part of the plan but at least I’m glad everyone is focusing on that and not on the fact that I let the Rogues escape. Dr. Wells is never going to forgive me. Joe can´t even look at me without giving me a cold stare. It´s my fault he is on the streets robbing and destroying things. But curiously, I don´t care.

I´m crazy, I admit it now. I am crazy and I am in love with a sociopath.

I leave the lab after a hard day of exams and experiments. I can´t believe Barry was so patient with us while we used him as a lab rat. It´s mentally and physically exhausting. So far we only know I can create strong vibrations and that they can be used as a weapon. That is both a bad and a good thing. The good part is that now I can defend myself and not lean on anyone having to save me. The bad part is that I can´t, by any reason or cause, use those powers outside the lab and without Dr. Wells’ approval. Barry (ironically) is the only one that could relate to me with this stuff, but we barely talk now. Can´t blame him. I sort of took his heart, squeezed it and then stepped on it.

I reach the dark alley where we decided to meet and wait. I send a text to Caitlin telling her I will probably late for tomorrow´s first test. I turn off the phone just in case. I know I am still at the labs only because I am now a meta-human and it´s safer to keep me near them and away from Leonard. I know Dr. Wells only still talks to me because he wants to study me. I know Barry can only stand me because he is Barry and the man is practically perfect. The only one that seems to still like me is Caitlin. We hang out like the old times but I can feel a difference in the atmosphere when we’re alone. Like she’s waiting for me to tell her something. She knows I’m hiding something.

A motorcycle turns left into the alley. I move slightly backwards and it stops in front of me.

“Made you wait?” Len asks me as he takes off his helmet.

“Like always,” I answer and take the helmet off his hands.

Like most things that I do I have no idea what made me wait that night on the emergency stairs. I sat there for hours until I finally saw a shadow start climbing up the metallic stairs. Neither of us said anything. He just went inside my room through the window and I closed it and also the curtains.  As I climb on the motorcycle and hug him tightly, I think about our agreement: one night per week: nothing more, nothing less. Just perfect if you ask me.

“Ready?”

I lean forward and rest my chin on his shoulder. “For what?”

“I have some stuff to do before we get back to the house.”

A small smile creeps up onto my face. “Are you going to get me into trouble?”

He turns around and smiles at me. “Obviously.” I blush as he kisses me.

“Okay.”

He turns on the motorcycle and we leave the dark alley in a flash. The cold wind of the night hits us and suddenly we are surrounded by the neon lights of the city. I look up towards the few stars that can still be seen while Len moves around the cars, violating the speed limit. 

“I love you,” I whisper to the wind and the city.

“Love you too, Vibe,” he answers in a louder voice than mine.

Len turns right and then left and suddenly we’re on the highway.

* * *

 

_“I read this quote some days ago.” Cisco looked up to Leonard, who kept stroking and brushing his hair with his fingers as he kept talking. “Meeting you was fate. Becoming your friend was a choice…”_

_Cisco chuckled, interrupting Leonard´s speech. “I don´t think you ever saw me as a friend.”_

_“Stop ruining it! Don´t you see I am trying to be romantic?” Cisco bit his lip but still his chest jumped as he tried to hold in his laughter. “But falling in love was beyond my control.”_

_Cisco´s smile disappeared as he heard the last part to Leonard´s surprise. The younger one sat up and stood silent for too long._

_“What are you over-thinking now?”_

_Cisco shook his head._

_“Are you worried?” he raised his shoulders and stared at him. “About what?”_

_“Do you really love me?”_

_Leonard sat up and took his hand softly. “I don´t know. You tell me. Do you love me?”_

_“It´s not fair. I asked first.”_

_Leonard chuckled. “I think love isn´t the right word to describe our current position.”_

_Cisco stared at him confused._

_“I think we are end-game.”_

_Cisco´s smile returned. “I can´t believe you know what that even means! Wait, you know what that means? How do you even know what that means? How do you know the term? From where did you…” he started rambling but luckily Leonard shut him up with a surprise kiss. “Not important.”_

_“So, does that answer your question?”_

_Their foreheads met as Cisco leaned over Leonard with his eyes closed and his fingers caressing Leonard´s hand. “We are end-game.”_

_Light up, light up_ __  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part was the memory Cisco was referring on the previous chapter... Hope you liked the fic just as much as I loved writting it.


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